Things I’ve Learned

I wanted to write a brief post about how life has been (which you know) and a few of the things I’ve learned in the last few months as I looked for jobs, learned to housewife, and became a wife.

When life gives you lemons, grab some friends, demand limes, and toss them in some Coronas.

So this is kind of silly, but the point is that the last few months have been somewhat stressful on a personal level. With the lack of a job and the loss of any potential for emergency unemployment income, I was becoming more and more stressed about figuring out how to help support my husband and myself financially.

As you can imagine, it’s at times like those that it helps to have a couple of close girlfriends to lean into and chat with. Now, I will admit to having a couple of Coronas with lime and even a few times where I drank more than beer, but I’ve since come to the conclusion that I really don’t need the liquor anymore.

I do need the girlfriends, though. And they’ve become my supporters and encouragement through this period of finding a new job, starting it, and training for what I’ll really be starting this coming week. It’s been a blessing to have them in my life because I could really use the girl time when I was feeling low.

When you’re short on cash, your standards for food will really stretch and bend. 

This one is kind of a no-brainer, but I thought I’d touch on it because of where I’ve come from and where I am now. I wouldn’t say Fernando and I are so strapped for cash we can’t even buy groceries. Even when I was unemployed, I was still had the means to pay for the more expensive things like fruits and vegetables and even meats that might normally have been more expensive.

So don’t start thinking we were too poor to eat. That’s not what I mean.

What I mean is that I’m so used to a certain standard of food in my parents’ home that it was strange to have to budget for different things. My mom will constantly purchase organic fruits, vegetables, and eggs, which obviously racks up a significant grocery bill. She’ll shop at stores like Fresh Market and Earthfare, which–while full of great options for really delicious meats, organic foods, and those difficult to find specialty foods–tend to have the higher prices that supermarkets like Kroger’s aren’t going to compare to.

Now my standards have changed just a bit. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that some of these are just the results of a more limited budget, some are the results of tips from frugal friends, and some are the results of living with someone who isn’t my parents.

A great example I could give would be with fish. I normally don’t eat a lot of fish, but Fernando loves it. He loves to get the frozen fish from the Kroger’s freezer, and he eats tilapia. My parents, on the other hand, will go to specialty fish shops to pick out fresh fish that is not farmed but is wild caught and purchase things like cod, salmon, and tuna steaks. They would never eat tilapia because you simply can’t find wild caught tilapia, and there’s no way they’d buy the frozen fillets.

Yet here I am buying the frozen fillets weekly. I’ll switch things up with some orange roughy, but Fernando is adamant that he doesn’t like cod. So I haven’t bought that yet, even though it’s one of my favorites.

Another big difference in how I shop now from how I did at my parents’ house? It’s all in where I shop. I still buy fresh produce and eggs, but I get them from the Aldi. I get other specialty items from the Trader Joe’s because of the decent prices. And then I’ll hit the Krogers for additional deals when they come out because I like a bargain.

When you first become a housewife, it’s easy to think you have to do it all yourself.

Fernando works 50 hours a week, and when we first got married, I saw myself having to stay on top of everything around the house in order to make sure I was of value to him.

Yeah…about that…it wasn’t exactly working very well. As much as I’d like to be an excellent wife and homemaker, it just isn’t something I’m a pro at yet. Give me several years, and I may be here telling you everything’s changed, but the truth is: I just don’t know how to do it all myself yet.

So yes, I can do laundry when it needs to get done. And I can make sure that the dishes are put into the dishwasher when they start to pile up.

But I wasn’t very good at it while I was unemployed. Part of that was a clear lack of motivation to do much of anything, honestly. I was depressed about being jobless and unable to bring in any income, and I felt like I was being a burden on Fernando. I just wasn’t taking the opportunities to do things that would be beneficial to either of us. And that was where the problem laid.

Now, however, I’m working again, and I feel the need to stay more on top of things like laundry, groceries, and dishes. Ironically I’ll keep up with those more obsessively than I ever did before. I’ll continuously put dishes in the dishwasher to add up until it’s full for a wash. I watch the towel pile to see when I need to wash towels and make sure I’m keeping track of my clothes for when to wash those.

And even though we’ve discussed groceries already, I’ve got to say that Fernando and I tend to go out together to buy groceries when we can. It’s usually a Sunday afternoon, and it’ll take us out for a weekly trip to the local stores to pick out the things we need.

So maybe I’m not vacuuming once a week or cleaning the bathroom regularly. I’m at least on top of the things that keep the house moving. For now, that’s what counts. And once I’ve mastered all that, I think I’ll try to get on top of the rest of it.

Those are just a few of the things I’ve learned so far as a newlywed. It’s a crazy, fun journey. I just know it’ll be a long adventure, and I’m looking forward to how things change.

– RaeNez

Managing Your Mediocrity (And Moving Forward)

Hello friends! I’m your Mediocrity Girl.

Are you tired, bored and unenergized? Do your daily routines get you down? Are you unmotivated? The answer to all your problems is in this little blog post! Change and Move Forward. That’s right. Change and move forward.

It contains all the steps necessary to advance past mediocrity. All you do is take one giant tablespoonful of Change and Move Forward after every meal. It’s so tasty, too! Tastes just like raspberries!

So why don’t you join the thousands of changing, motivated people and get a great, big bottle of Change and Move Forward tomorrow! That’s Change and Move Forward!

…

Okay, so if you grew up on I Love Lucy reruns like I did, you may recognize the beginnings of that little monologue as from one of the more iconic episodes of the show, specifically the “Lucy Does a TV Commercial” episode featuring Vitameatavegamin as the product.

Tastes just like candy!

Now, while I’ve modified the words from her commercial to fit the theme of my post today, I thought I’d share a short message with you about my own mediocrity and the change happening in my life.

No, this isn’t a mushy, gushy post.

It’s really more about the fact that I’ve realized that losing my job was the step that needed to happen for me to understand how dependent I was on the more administrative sides of positions. It was one of the most codependent relationships I’ve ever had, and it wasn’t even a sentient relationship. Go figure.

Being in an administrative position gave me the comfort of never having to seek out anything more than a simple position where I didn’t have to do anything more than follow rules, be on time, manage scripts and notes and files and customer interaction, and otherwise achieve a rate of success determined by someone above me.

Now I have change.

I have a job as a director at a center where I’ll not only be judged by some of those same above criteria (and more, because, let’s face it, it’s sales – therefore: money and numbers are essential), but I’ll also have employees I have to manage and judge and watch.

It’s terrifying. Seriously. I’m terrified. For people out there who have managed others, done the performance review stuff, ordered and counted inventory, created and maintained sales and clients, this may sound boring to you. But to me, this is all too new and strange.

It means stepping so far out of my comfort zone I might as well be in a different time zone.

So even though I can’t say yet that I’m going to definitely succeed, that I’m focused and determined on my own success and that this venture will be the one that pushes me forward, I can say the same thing I’ve said with every job I’ve had.

This will be a learning experience. And for that, more than anything else, I am grateful.

And with this learning experience, it will give me a push out of the mediocrity that I’ve been living my life. Because realistically speaking, I can’t keep going through the same old, same old.

I don’t want stale and boring. I want spice and excitement. I want adventure and discovery. I want opportunity and newness.

Out with the old. In with the new. Even if the new isn’t the best, it is new and exciting. And that’s what matters.

Lovingly Your (Not Quite) Mediocrity Girl,

RaeNez

You Are Hereby Invited…

…to help me plan an amazing wedding.

No questions asked.

In fact, it would be better if you didn’t ask any questions. Because, my friends, I’ve been away from my beloved blog too long, and I’m so sorry to have done this to you. It’s a completely tragedy.

Honestly, I can’t even begin to tell you all the craziness that’s happened since I’ve gone to the new job. It’s been a roller coaster ride of figuring out my place in a new company and wondering if I’ll ever get the hang of things. And guess what? I haven’t even been there three months yet. Wow.

Now I have less than six months to plan a wedding as well because Fernando and I are getting married on November 2nd. So since we’re all friends here, and I’m sure you want to help me plan an amazing wedding, let’s tick off the things I do have finished:

Got the dress – It’s the ultimate no-brainer and the first thing I ordered.

Scheduled the venue – We’re getting married in the mountains at a beautiful, lofted barn that’s decorated with antiques and has a vintage feel. It’s right up my alley and will be perfect for what I want.

Arranged for the officiant – My pastor agreed to marry us and has us booked on his schedule. It’s a good thing since apparently he’s a hot commodity at my church… Who knew the senior pastor would be difficult to book?

Agreed on a photographer – One of our dear friends is an amateur photographer who happens to work with me. He asked about being the photographer at my wedding, which I was opposed to at first until he told me how much he would love to be a part of the wedding and how special the role is. His photography is always beautiful, and since he’s willing to make a good deal with us and give us all the photos in whatever format (disk/hard drive) we like, I caved. I think he’ll do an amazing job and be a hoot to have around, and as he always makes me laugh, it’ll be hard not to be smiling in any photos where he’s the photographer.

Found a florist – My florist is going to be amazing and, most of all, affordable. In fact, after going over my vision for the wedding with her and what kind of flowers I wanted, we narrowed down my estimate to a cool $125 with tax for the whole kit and kaboodle. And I do mean the whole thing. Granted, that will change a bit as my mother has to have her say, but with prices like that, is it any wonder I asked her which dotted line I needed to sign?

Snagged bridesmaids and dresses – Here’s a fun thing to note. When I say snagged, I mean the bridesmaids. The dresses we only just decided on. We haven’t exactly gotten them ordered yet, and as it stands, we’re on a time crunch to get that taken care of. So we’ll be keeping our fingers crossed that it all works in my favor… (Okay, ladies, let’s order our dresses yesterday, please!)

Started a registry – Seriously, why has no one ever told me how ridiculous starting a registry is? I’m pretty sure I just registered for all of Bed, Bath & Beyond, and the “Beyond” part will cost about $5k. Just saying. I’m two stores (almost) down and still haven’t even begun my Target registry yet. But can someone please tell me why every single bridal magazine in existence seems to think that three is the magic number in registries?

Tasted cupcakes – Yes, you read that right. I had no intention of ordering cupcakes from the vendors. In fact, I’m pretty sure it was my time of the month that week and I just wanted an excuse to go to two different cupcake places and order cupcakes. So I did. That said, I’m also talking to the wife of a coworker who has her own at-home cupcake business and has promised to someday, maybe, if-I’m-lucky send me samples of her banana pudding (with a vanilla wafer on top) cupcake and other flavors for me to try to see if I want to use her for my wedding. Soooo, that’s kind of still up in the air. The cupcakes I bought that week were still really delicious, though.

Coerced some guys into being groomsmen – We actually have groomsmen. This is a big one cause I was beginning to think we really were going to have women walk for Fernando. (Just kidding.) Seriously, though, he did ask two of his buddies to be groomsmen, so that leaves two more to find. We still aren’t sure on the best man, and since this whole best man thing has become a bit of a joke that three of my bridesmaids (maid of honor included) are contingent on, I’m only halfway hoping he doesn’t pick the guy that will make all three quit.

Is that it? I’m pretty sure that I’m forgetting something in there. Either way, I still have to accessorize. I don’t have shoes or a bustier, which are both somewhat necessary for whenever my dress comes in for me to be fitted. After visiting the wonderful world of Victoria’s Secret, my hopes and dreams were dashed when I was informed they no longer sell traditional bustiers.

It’s sad when a girl can’t even find a good, old-fashioned corset anymore.

Just saying.

As far as shoes go, I want something pretty and fun, but I’m not sure exactly what to go for yet. One of my girlfriend’s had bright blue pumps as her wedding shoes for her “something blue,” but I’m not certain that’s a tradition that really matters to me. And blue isn’t in my color scheme.

We’ll see. Maybe some smoking red ones instead… Fernando wouldn’t mind. And they’d be perfect for wedding photos.

And what about our invitations? I mean, those are kind of important. And I suppose those should go out soon-ish. Yeah… I don’t have those either. Oh well. I guess that’s next on my list.

Can you say “work in progress”? Because that’s this wedding in a nutshell.

The good thing is Fernando is patient enough to wait and willing to deal with me when I start getting antsy about the details. I’m not so much right now. Right now I’ve had enough of wedding stuff to last me a while. I just want to ignore it and hope it goes away, but I know the invitations have to get done.

Anyone out there have a good website or design idea for an invitation that’s simple, sophisticated and incorporates the colors cream, black, and red? Oh, and maybe one that’s cheap. That would help, too. Cheap to print, that is.

I keep thinking I want to go shopping for some new shoes and clothes. And then I remember I have a wedding coming up. And an apartment I’ll eventually be buying furniture for. And a fiance who’s going back to school in the fall and going to be learning some amazing things to become an awesome computer science engineer guru (which is a totally technical term – look it up).

When I think about that, I remember why I don’t want to go shopping anymore. It’s a great way to save money! Perhaps I should write an e-book… What do you think?

– RaeNez

And suddenly eloping sounds nice…

It’s been a crazy busy week.

I submitted my notice Monday. I got my acceptance of my resignation from HR today along with my exit interview paperwork to fill out and submit when I do my exit interview. My HR VP seemed kind of sad, especially after the meeting we had a couple of weeks ago.

I can understand that, but I also got the job I wanted, and it’s amazing.

However, this whole wedding thing just seems a little overwhelming, and I haven’t even been engaged that long!

How do people do this, anyway?

I think perhaps I’m just stressing a little because on top of the engagement, I got a new job and am suddenly having to complete all these tasks for the new job, my current job, and everyone else in between. I drove to the new job on my lunch break today to submit my paperwork for a background check because it can take up to two weeks to complete them and might interfere with my start date.

Am I terrible to admit I almost want the breather between jobs? As it is, I’m going to be ending my current job next Friday to turn around Monday and go to a completely new job.

It’s making me more than a tad bit nervous.

Then there’s starting to budget for a wedding. I’ve discussed things with my parents, which turned into a really interesting conversation because suddenly my parents are actually concerned about their finances. And this is rather an anomaly.

Oh, wait, could that be because they went yesterday to order my mom a new Dodge Charger? Oh, yes, and because they’re trying to pay off the last of their house this year?

Well, I can understand that. And now I feel like I’m putting a damper on their finances by being engaged and actually wanting a wedding. Perhaps it was better when I wanted to elope after all. 

If I’m being honest, Fernando and I will be starting mostly from scratch once we are married. We’ll be financially stable in terms of being able to afford an apartment and living expenses, but we aren’t exactly coming to this with lots of furniture in place and a fully outfitted home.

Maybe eloping sounds nice because I’m tired, busy, and a couple weeks off to get away would be really great right now. And it could also be because I haven’t had any chance to really sit down and work any solid details out.

You know, any solid details besides the groom, that is.

The great thing about Fernando is he would happily run away with me and elope.

But I kinda, sorta want a wedding now. I just don’t know how to do it. I guess with enough time and planning it won’t be that bad, right?

We shall see.

– RaeNez

Digressing on Birthdays

Days after Fernando asked to marry me, it was time for his birthday.

Now a girl has pressure anyway to provide the right kind of gift for her boyfriend in the first place. Coming up with an amazing birthday gift for a fiance? That’s a whole different ball game. And Fernando’s love language has to be gifts. I mean, look at the flowers he sent me on his birthday.

Yes, his birthday.

They were absolutely gorgeous and so vivid!

So Fernando sent me flowers on his birthday after sending me a gorgeous bouquet of yellow and red roses on Monday following our engagement because Monday the 25th was the official six month mark for how long we had dated seriously.

Wow.

It’s been a crazy week, can you tell?

In any event, I was trying to prepare for his birthday the best I could. I intended to see if I could come up with a great meal to cook for him, but he sent me a text the week before saying he’d gotten reservations for the Melting Pot to do fondue on his birthday.

That took care of one item for his birthday, then…

I had a couple ideas on what I would get him for his birthday, and I’d ordered one thing from Amazon, which turned out to be perfect. We’d seen it when we went to the Lego Store on one of our day trips with another couple of friends. He’d instantly fallen in love with it and asked me if I’d play it with him if he got it.

It’s the Lego Kingdoms Chess Set!

I ordered him this chess set from Lego because he loved it so much. It got here with plenty of time to wrap and get ready for him, but I was at a loss for what else to get him. I had ideas, but I had so little time to prepare because I had another birthday party to attend on Monday, and Fernando’s birthday was on Wednesday!

So Tuesday rolled around, and I was off like a shot after work. I raced from store to store looking for something that I had in mind for him. I settled finally on an iPad cover that he’d wanted, even though I know he would have preferred an iPad Mini.

I wish I could have gotten the Mini.

Oh well.

I wrapped his gifts up for him and prepared for his birthday because I knew he’d be excited to see me and hang out as soon as I got off work Wednesday night.

My wrapping job on Fernando’s gifts… Pretty, right?

I raced home to dress up for a night out at the fondue restaurant. And it was an amazing time.

Fernando and I love going to the Melting Pot, and our waiter rocked. His name was Fred. He was a hoot, and he gave us some excellent suggestions.

When we got back to my house, I let Fernando open his birthday gifts (finally), and I think he liked them. 🙂

All in all, I hope it was a successful birthday attempt for my fiance because I know we’ll have many more to come!

– RaeNez

 

 

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not…

Do you remember that old children’s game that you would play? Pick a flower and think of someone. Pull the petals off one by one saying, “He loves me. He loves me not.” And hope you land on a “He loves me” when you reach the last petal?

I never used to really do that game, but if I did, I would have changed it up for Fernando. My words would have been a combination of: “He loves me. He loves me a lot.”

In my last post, I mentioned the excitement of finding out I’d get to go to a final interview with a company on February 22nd.

Well, February 23rd was a day with its own set of perks.

Fernando and I like to take day trips to places far enough away that they’re “not home” and yet not so far that we have to spend the night away from home. So that Saturday (namely a week from yesterday) we went one one of our day trips I’d been wanting to go on to a city that’s a couple hours away from home. It’s got a beautiful downtown area that the locals have maintained really well, and the city is home to some neat attractions.

We settled on starting at the famed aquarium and working our way out from there because it’s so large you can easily spend a good chunk of your day there. Located in the heart of downtown, we figured it would be fun to start there and see everything and then walk around downtown for a couple of hours before eating and hitting up the mall and then heading home.

The aquarium was awesome. It’s divided into two buildings for river and ocean animals, and both are such fun to go through. We started with the river building and were surprised when they directed us to stand against a green backdrop to have our pictures taken; of course, we knew they’d try to sell us overpriced photos with different backgrounds at the end of the tour, but we stood and smiled anyway.

As we went through the aquarium, Fernando was wearing a jacket that I thought was odd. It was cool for me but not too cold for him. The forecast was calling for rain later, though, so I guess it was better safe than sorry.

We saw all kinds of neat fish and other aquatic creatures, and even though I don’t typically enjoy fish, I couldn’t help loving the aquarium. And Fernando kept grabbing and hugging me and joking with me. That made it even more special.

Some hidden clown fish I photographed and played with in Instagram at the aquarium.

It took us over two hours to go through all the exhibits at the aquarium, and when we were done, we decided it was time to get dinner. We’d left late anyway and gotten there relatively late to stand in line for the aquarium in the first place. So we went to dinner at a restaurant I’d seen on a website for the city that described it as having the best steak in town.

We were rather lucky. The restaurant was right across the street from the aquarium, and it wasn’t much of a walk for us. Though by that time I wasn’t just carrying my purse. I was also carrying some photos Fernando splurged and bought at the end of our tour. He’d given in as soon as he saw the cutesy backgrounds and said we needed them, even though the prices were ridiculous.

I couldn’t understand it, but I did love the photos, so I was game.

We went to the steak restaurant and were seated immediately despite not having a reservation since it was only 5 pm. It was excellent food, and our waiter was extremely solicitous. I was impressed with the yummy meal and service and thoroughly enjoyed myself.

After we left the restaurant with a small box of leftovers for me, we decided to go back up to the car in the parking garage to put the pictures and the leftovers away. I wanted to go for a carriage ride and be very touristy because they have $30 carriage rides around the downtown area at night that looked like fun.

Fernando’s car was up on the sixth floor of the parking garage nearby, and so we went up there. It was the top of the garage, and we put our things away only for Fernando to suggest we go to the top of the garage and take in the view of downtown. I had intended to go up there when there weren’t as many people anyway, so I walked up with him, and we took in the sights of downtown as the sun began to go down and the snowflake lights began lighting up along the streets below.

And it was there it happened.

On a relatively deserted top floor of a parking garage, Fernando proposed.

It was perfect for me. The most perfect way he could have proposed and the most perfect ring and just so incredibly sweet.

It’s not the best picture, but my ring is absolutely gorgeous. He did an amazing job!

Of course, I said yes after the shock wore off. Though I was still in shock for quite a bit afterwards. It’s not every day a girl gets a proposal, after all. We hugged and kissed and talked. And he put my beautiful ring on for me.

He picked out the ring, and he did such an incredible job. It was amazing how well he knows me and how suited the proposal and ring are to the kind of person I am. It just shows me how much I love Fernando and how much I can’t wait to marry him.

Though, I must admit… it is rather strange to say I have a fiance now.

And now I have a wedding to plan.

– RaeNez

 

Scheduling Blues & Valentine’s Recap

Well, I’ve been away several days, and it’s been an exciting and busy few days to say the least. I’ll start by saying that on Friday (yes, I’m bypassing Valentine’s for a moment) we had a meeting at work. That’s always a danger. It was even more of a danger because it was with our outbound collections team only instead of the entire call center team.

The meeting began with the management team informing us we’re going to a new schedule. Now while it isn’t pleasant for me, I wasn’t as upset by the changes as some people were. It’s not like I can complain anyway. They do what they want, and I simply do as I’m told, right? Right.

Our current schedule is a Monday-Thursday 9-hour shift and Friday 4-hour shift. You can see why some people were upset. They cherish their 4-hour Fridays. As do I. It’s one of the few days I’m really able to see Fernando, after all, since his crazy schedule as fast food assistant manager keeps him busy on 10-hour shifts five days a week, he ends up taking off Fridays and Saturdays to see me. So we get my half-day Fridays and all day Saturdays and most of Sundays.

If we’re lucky, we’ll see each other at various times during the week. But that hasn’t happened often lately due to our schedules.

Now my schedule will be changing starting in a few short weeks. It’s going from the above to a straight 8-hour Monday-Friday shift. They determined this was the best option to get the most call outs done and get things taken care of in the timeliest manner.

I have no quibbles with leaving an hour earlier. I’m not too chuffed at losing my half-day. I’m just rather tired with all the changes. It’s every other week we’re having a meeting about changing this or that policy. Or perhaps we’re getting an email at least once or twice a week about being able to accept or deny new pieces of information for customers when they apply for different programs. Then there’s the constant change in seating arrangements. I feel like I’m back in high school, moving desks because the teachers disapprove of so-and-so sitting next to so-and-so or whatnot.

In fact…

I had to move my desk to a desk literally not two feet away from where I was sitting. It wasn’t a big deal. They had me move on Thursday. And while I’m not really complaining, I find it amusing that I was moved.

You see, I didn’t ask to be moved.

Evelyn did.

She has severe asthma, and it’s been acting up terribly in our prior seating arrangement next to the supervisor. We were seated directly under a vent that constantly pumped out air (whether warm or cold) that would irritate her asthma and cause her to cough uncontrollably. Honestly, it was an OSHA issue more than anything else. But she was going nuts trying to get over the coughing, and she had requested to be moved to a seat where there was no vent (a seemingly impossible task in our large facility).

She requested to take over the resident “bro-ski’s” seat because he sat in an area that wasn’t as heavily hit by vents. Now “bro-ski” is an okay guy, but he’s not someone I talk to a lot, and I’m not particularly a fan of his. Evelyn took him aside and explained her situation and asked him nicely if he’d consider switching seats with her. His response was, unfortunately, predictable.

He told her in no uncertain terms he would raise cain if she tried to get him to move.

Well, strike one.

Then my supervisor came up to me on Thursday morning after I noticed her speaking to “bro-ski” and asked if I would move. She told me she knew I wasn’t really interested in moving but asked if I’d be willing to. I said I would, end of story. I mean, they’d move me anyway, so I had little choice in the matter.

That afternoon our systems went down completely for about an hour. It was great and glorious. I couldn’t take calls. It was a really beautiful world. And that’s when I moved. I took over another “bro-ski’s” desk who was out sick that day, and that’s when I realized what had happened.

In order to pacify “bro-ski,” they moved me so that his “bromance” with our other “bro-ski” could continue unhindered by distance. And of course, because the “bromance brothers” are the “teacher’s pet” types in the call center, they get pacified in their desires.

I know that’s very sarcastic and all, but you have to understand the call center life is one of those things that is very similar to high school. You have the teacher’s pets who suck up to the supervisors and get what they want. You have the cool kids who band together and get to do special things because they’re cool and they can. And then you have people who don’t really fit and just try to make it without getting in trouble.

There’s more to it than that, but I’ll likely do a separate post about how the call center is just like high school.

In short, I got bumped for the “bromance” duo, and I’m not altogether unhappy, just amused at the irony of favoritism.

In other news: I am hoping and praying for a favorable review of an interview I had Friday afternoon with an amazing company that I’d love to work for. I won’t say much here now, but I had a phone interview with them last Thursday and arranged for an in-person interview with them Friday afternoon. And now it’s a matter of waiting for them to call me this Friday to let me know if I get to go on to an executive interview, the next step in their process. I’ll definitely keep you posted on how that goes! Be wishing me lots of luck!

Finally, I have to say I had an excellent Valentine’s Day with my dear Fernando.

He surprised me big time, and though the women at work were wagering on how many bouquets I’d receive and whether he’d propose or not (to both of which they were disappointed), I was frustrated by the end of the work day. The flowers rolled in, and it was a riot of roses in the office, but none came for me. And what really frustrated me wasn’t the lack of a delivery but my co-workers’ constant jabbing at me about how I hadn’t gotten anything yet and how something much bigger and shinier must be waiting for me at home. (Or as one co-worker put it, I must have a “butt naked man” waiting for me.)

By the time I went home, I was annoyed and ready to call it a night and just go wherever for dinner and not even bother with all the hoopla surrounding Valentines, even though I’d made Fernando a card on Sunday and gotten him chocolate-covered strawberries the day before. So when he showed up at my door dressed nicely with his hands behind his back and told me to pick a hand, I was taken aback and felt annoyed with myself for being annoyed.

He brought me chocolates and a beautiful bouquet of red and pink roses and the sweetest card. I think I liked the card best. Probably because he wrote me the most wonderful note, and I’m nothing if not won over by a few lines of ink on paper. I almost cried but didn’t and instead hugged him and didn’t want to let go to get dinner.

We went to a seafood restaurant here in town and got a delicious meal. I got a nice fish that wasn’t too fishy tasting with a lemon caper sauce and au gratin potatoes. He got filet mignon and lobster and steamed broccoli. And it was all just lovely. I thoroughly enjoyed my Valentine’s Day with my first Valentine.

I’m not going to make a huge deal out of it, but he was incredibly sweet, and I adored him for it. And now here’s hoping all the good vibes from Valentine’s allowed my interview Friday to push me toward the potential for a new and better job in a company that seems to be really amazing and, more importantly, cares for its employees and wants them to enjoy coming to work.

What a difference that would make!

We shall see. And I will definitely keep you posted.

– RaeNez

Valentine’s Week, What?

Lo and behold… it is the week of February 14th. While many of my friends will be lamenting their single status and posting the joys of being single while secretly drinking their woes away with liquid courage and indulging in pint after pint of Ben & Jerry’s (the best threesome a girl could wish for) over some fashionably cheesy chick flicks, I’ll be doing… well.. something different.

No, this isn’t the cheesy blog post you were looking for.

Not yet.

That comes later, I can assure you.

I’ll actually, you know, have a Valentine this year.

Wow.

Fernando isn’t exactly super excited about the prospect, but that’s okay. Guys don’t have to be. Valentine’s Day is traditionally more about the girl, and everyone knows Fernando isn’t the kind of guy who only shows his affection when he has to, like on holidays and birthdays.

He’s insisted all along he won’t be doing anything special for Valentine’s Day simply because he sends me flowers when he feels like it and does special things with me all the time.

He’s the perfect Valentine all the time. Well, that was cheesy. He’s not perfect, but for the purposes of making me feel loved, he is.

That said, since we both work Valentine’s until 6 pm for me and 7 pm for him, we’ll be going to dinner late and relaxing. I told him we didn’t have to do anything fancy. I’m just glad I get to see him because, gosh darnit, I’ve never had a Valentine, and I’m going to celebrate it with him just a little!

Yes, I’m girly. Yes, I’m sentimental. Yes, I want a Valentine, dangit.

So with less than two days to go until I get to see him for Valentine’s, I’m just feeling excited that I’ll get to smile and hug him and be all cutesy and couply. Because, let’s face it, I’ve never, ever, ever had a Valentine in my life.

I’m 20-something-years-old, and this is the first time I’ll have a legit, “I like you,” dinner date Valentine. I’m not going to miss it. I’m going to be super excited after dealing with ridiculous people who can’t be bothered to take any responsibility for themselves because, quite frankly, I don’t care if you are in debt or not. I’m going out with the guy I like when I get off the phone with you, and to heck with your blankety-blank account. In fact, if you’d please go jump off a cliff, things would be so much easier.

Well, maybe I shouldn’t ask people to jump off a cliff.

Though a little sense of personal responsibility wouldn’t go amiss… like, you know, actually acknowledging that you went into debt instead of just claiming it suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Because debt doesn’t appear, and babies aren’t delivered by the stork.

Sorry to kill your fantasies. Santa doesn’t exist either. And the economy is very broken and not looking up despite our fearless (political) leaders trying to convince us it is.

A little reality check for some people is definitely in order. But I suppose I’ll go into that later. Probably tomorrow since I have a very specific someone in mind whose particular brand of denial has reached levels even I’m impressed with.

For now… Valentine’s!

(I’m going to go be sappy and watch Downton Abbey now instead of listening to the President try to convince me he cares about me. Because if he did, he’d, you know, keep his promises and fix the economy so I could get a new job – and yes, this is what I’m talking about with the personal responsibility stuff, people.)

– RaeNez

 

I Like A Man Who…

…challenges me intellectually.

Of course, this is why I enjoy Fernando.

I do not, however, like a man who thinks he can challenge me intellectually under the pretense that he’s a man and knows better than me because I’m a woman. It’s the classic “I know better than you. I’m a man.” complex that makes me roll my eyes in amusement as I casually crush his dreams because I am, quite happily, smarter than him.

No, I’m not bragging.

Honest.

I’m just saying.

As a woman, I like a good battle of wits. I like to be challenged intellectually. Stimulate my brain, and you’ll appeal to me on so many levels. Stimulate my cynicism and sarcasm, and you’ve got me hooked. Engage me in a battle of wits where the object is to entertain and amuse rather than demean and dominate, and you’ll have my attention for sure.

However, when you translate this intellectual challenge to my job, I have to say, don’t even bother.

I know what I’m doing. You don’t. I don’t care if you’re a man with a degree in five different things. You don’t know what I do, so quit trying to sound ultra-intellectual. You just come off sounding ridiculous.

“Oh yes, but doesn’t that mean that during those periods the interest accrual is deferred due to the account being on hiatus per my request?”

You just spoke Greek, I’m pretty sure. And, even though I can translate all that, you’re wrong. Sorry. No offense intended, but don’t try to sound smart. You just come off sounding like a moron.

This, boys and girls, is the lesson of the day: How To Convince The Call Center Rep To Do What You Want. And this is how not to get her to do it.

Man: “Have you received and processed my payment request?”

Me: “We’ve received it, but it’s still in processing. It typically takes 7-10 business days to process these requests. We should have this completed by the middle of next week.”

Man: “How can we fix the account right now since I haven’t paid?”

Me: “We can’t. We’ll have to wait for your payment request to go through.”

Note: This is not the time where you should decide you know better than me. This is where you should smile, nod, and get off the dang phone so I can take the next call.

Man: “My wife submitted the same payment request on her account and spoke with a rep and was told they could fix it over the phone for her. Why is it you can’t do that for me? The other rep did it on my wife’s account.”

Oh, yes, I feel oh so guilty now because I didn’t fix your account for you the way the other rep did for your wife. Mmhm. In fact, I clearly lied to you the first time I told you we couldn’t fix your account. 

Me: “You don’t have any available options to fix your account without waiting for the payment request to go through. You’ve used all of your options, and there are none left.”

Clearly I must be mocking you. Or maybe I’m speaking in tongues. Either way, what I’m saying and what you’re hearing are not the same. 

Man: “But the other rep was able to do this to my wife’s account. I don’t see why you can’t do it to mine.”

And if your wife’s account jumped off a cliff… okay, bad example. But seriously. Perhaps you should pay more attention to the fact you have, you know, separate accounts? 

Me: “Your wife may have had available options on her account. You do not. We’ll just have to wait until your payment request processes.”

Yes, I recognize that I don’t speak clear enough English to make it plain that your account is not going to be fixed until we process your request if it takes you three tries to figure it out. But all that did was keep me on the phone a few seconds longer and made you sound like an ignorant fool because you seem to think that your account and your wife’s account are the same thing.

Perhaps I should rephrase…

I like a man who challenges me intellectually unless it’s on the job. Then I like a man who shuts up and leaves the talking to me, takes what I say, and gets off the phone as quickly as I’m through. Because clearly I’ve told you everything you need to know. So you can get off the phone and leave me alone now, ‘kay, thanks, and bye. 🙂

And that is the lesson from today’s round of Manic Monday Inbounds…

– RaeNez

P.S. If you’re one of those men who calls in and tells me your name is Doctor So-and-So to try to intimidate me into thinking you’re smart (whether you’re an MD or a PhD), you can leave that at the “May I ask who I’m speaking with” door because I will not be addressing you as Doctor. You will be Joe Blow like every other Joe Blow I speak with, and you, too, are no smarter than any other Joe Blow who thinks he knows everything there is to know about my business. Unless you work in the same industry as me, I feel no compunction whatsoever in telling you how wrong your intellectual smarminess is, and I take great joy in crushing those hoity-toity words you think you can use to intimidate me… especially since I understand them and can throw them right back at you the way they’re meant to be used. Next time, grab a dictionary…

Speedy Gonzales, or Work Life meets Love Life

In the interest of being professional and honest, I won’t say I’ve never had any workplace infatuations, and I won’t say I’ll never go into details on that score at some point here. I will say that my current boyfriend, Fernando, is most definitely not related in any way, shape, or form to the call center. He is, in fact, an old flame from high school that never quite went out (and how glad I am of that!) who has become a rather important part of my life.

That said, I figured it might be worth it to touch on something that people all too often find themselves struggling with: work life and love life. When those two lives meet, it can become quite volatile. Sometimes it can be explosive. And sometimes it leaves you with less than satisfactory results for one or both aspects of your life.

I intended to keep the details of my dating relationship outside of work, really, I did. But working in a call center is working in a gossip den.

Add in a few flowers, and, well, my fate was sealed.

Shortly after Fernando and I began dating again, he did something that completely threw me for a loop. He had flowers delivered to me at work. I had never in my life had flowers sent to me. I’ve seen it, many times at the call center for Valentine’s and birthdays even, but for me on a regular day? Never.

This was definitely just a regular day.

Now let’s shift gears a bit and move on to something else. Or rather someone else. A woman I work with, we’ll call her Evelyn, has had it out for me since we started working together. And by having it out for me, I mean, she frequently made comments to the effect of: “Girl, we need to get you to a club! And get you some tequila! You need a man. And a condom…”

As you can imagine, Evelyn was extremely interested to see what all the fuss and the flowers were about. So much for keeping my love life secret. Evelyn is one of those people who likes to assign nicknames to significant others she hasn’t met; don’t ask me why. So after Fernando took me to lunch a few times and managed to whisk me away before she could catch up to us, she nicknamed him Speedy Gonzales.

It stuck.

Everyone calls him Speedy Gonzales. I’ve told them his name time and time again. It doesn’t matter. And everyone, simply everyone, has an opinion.

Take Evelyn. I haven’t dated Fernando for a year, so I simply am not allowed to marry him. Clearly he and I shouldn’t even think about it. We should be all over each other as much as possible in the meantime to make sure, you know, that we want each other. But marriage? Perish the thought until you’re much, much further down the line. At least a year.

I’m so glad she’s given me the rules because I wasn’t aware I was on a time frame here.

Or let’s consider Beth. Yet another coworker of mine who seems intent on knowing how this saga with Fernando plays out, she’s kept well up to date with me on a regular basis. Beth was secretly pulling for a Christmas proposal. (Clearly she hasn’t been reading the rule book or consulting with Evelyn.) And she’s made it clear I should leap into Fernando’s arms when the bling arrives.

I’m glad her confidence in his imminent proposal is strong.

Somewhere in the middle is Edith. She originally encouraged me to go out with Fernando when he first started showing interest again and I wasn’t quite sure. At this point, she told me she wouldn’t agree to someone getting married before they’d been together at least a year to see what they think of one another, but when I mentioned having known Fernando and dated him on and off for almost ten years, she seemed more open to the idea. Then she asked if I’d considered moving in with him. I said no and that I wouldn’t do that unless I was married to him; to which, she replied she was proud of me.

I’m glad she’s decided it’s okay for me to marry him now…

It amazes me how working in a call center seems to mean everyone’s business is suddenly, well, everyone’s business. I don’t mind Evelyn, Beth, or Edith telling me what they think about my relationship with Fernando. That doesn’t bother me. But it would be something else entirely if I were to date someone within the call center.

The funny part of it all is how different everyone’s opinions seem to be. Thankfully for me, Fernando and I will be making our own decisions about our love life, and everyone else at work can keep their noses out of it, thank you very much.

Of course, if he does propose… he ought to be prepared for all the amusing stories I’ll have to share from the wonderful women I work with. They will, I’m sure, start with questions and comments about the ring and only escalate into tips and tricks of the wedding planning trade.

I shudder to think how that would go.

Perhaps Mr. Speedy Gonzales should spirit me away instead… a nice elopement might work out quite handily. And create a tidy bit of scandal to leave the gossip mills running at work for quite some time. Perhaps I’ll suggest it to him (so long as my mother doesn’t find out – she’s another matter entirely).

Anyway, food for thought on this eve of going back to work after a long infection…

– RaeNez