I Like A Man Who…

…challenges me intellectually.

Of course, this is why I enjoy Fernando.

I do not, however, like a man who thinks he can challenge me intellectually under the pretense that he’s a man and knows better than me because I’m a woman. It’s the classic “I know better than you. I’m a man.” complex that makes me roll my eyes in amusement as I casually crush his dreams because I am, quite happily, smarter than him.

No, I’m not bragging.

Honest.

I’m just saying.

As a woman, I like a good battle of wits. I like to be challenged intellectually. Stimulate my brain, and you’ll appeal to me on so many levels. Stimulate my cynicism and sarcasm, and you’ve got me hooked. Engage me in a battle of wits where the object is to entertain and amuse rather than demean and dominate, and you’ll have my attention for sure.

However, when you translate this intellectual challenge to my job, I have to say, don’t even bother.

I know what I’m doing. You don’t. I don’t care if you’re a man with a degree in five different things. You don’t know what I do, so quit trying to sound ultra-intellectual. You just come off sounding ridiculous.

“Oh yes, but doesn’t that mean that during those periods the interest accrual is deferred due to the account being on hiatus per my request?”

You just spoke Greek, I’m pretty sure. And, even though I can translate all that, you’re wrong. Sorry. No offense intended, but don’t try to sound smart. You just come off sounding like a moron.

This, boys and girls, is the lesson of the day: How To Convince The Call Center Rep To Do What You Want. And this is how not to get her to do it.

Man: “Have you received and processed my payment request?”

Me: “We’ve received it, but it’s still in processing. It typically takes 7-10 business days to process these requests. We should have this completed by the middle of next week.”

Man: “How can we fix the account right now since I haven’t paid?”

Me: “We can’t. We’ll have to wait for your payment request to go through.”

Note: This is not the time where you should decide you know better than me. This is where you should smile, nod, and get off the dang phone so I can take the next call.

Man: “My wife submitted the same payment request on her account and spoke with a rep and was told they could fix it over the phone for her. Why is it you can’t do that for me? The other rep did it on my wife’s account.”

Oh, yes, I feel oh so guilty now because I didn’t fix your account for you the way the other rep did for your wife. Mmhm. In fact, I clearly lied to you the first time I told you we couldn’t fix your account. 

Me: “You don’t have any available options to fix your account without waiting for the payment request to go through. You’ve used all of your options, and there are none left.”

Clearly I must be mocking you. Or maybe I’m speaking in tongues. Either way, what I’m saying and what you’re hearing are not the same. 

Man: “But the other rep was able to do this to my wife’s account. I don’t see why you can’t do it to mine.”

And if your wife’s account jumped off a cliff… okay, bad example. But seriously. Perhaps you should pay more attention to the fact you have, you know, separate accounts? 

Me: “Your wife may have had available options on her account. You do not. We’ll just have to wait until your payment request processes.”

Yes, I recognize that I don’t speak clear enough English to make it plain that your account is not going to be fixed until we process your request if it takes you three tries to figure it out. But all that did was keep me on the phone a few seconds longer and made you sound like an ignorant fool because you seem to think that your account and your wife’s account are the same thing.

Perhaps I should rephrase…

I like a man who challenges me intellectually unless it’s on the job. Then I like a man who shuts up and leaves the talking to me, takes what I say, and gets off the phone as quickly as I’m through. Because clearly I’ve told you everything you need to know. So you can get off the phone and leave me alone now, ‘kay, thanks, and bye. 🙂

And that is the lesson from today’s round of Manic Monday Inbounds…

– RaeNez

P.S. If you’re one of those men who calls in and tells me your name is Doctor So-and-So to try to intimidate me into thinking you’re smart (whether you’re an MD or a PhD), you can leave that at the “May I ask who I’m speaking with” door because I will not be addressing you as Doctor. You will be Joe Blow like every other Joe Blow I speak with, and you, too, are no smarter than any other Joe Blow who thinks he knows everything there is to know about my business. Unless you work in the same industry as me, I feel no compunction whatsoever in telling you how wrong your intellectual smarminess is, and I take great joy in crushing those hoity-toity words you think you can use to intimidate me… especially since I understand them and can throw them right back at you the way they’re meant to be used. Next time, grab a dictionary…

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